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Monday, December 6, 2010
The Fundrasing Time is Now!
Excitingly and nervously we are nearing the end of our paper chase for our dossier. Off goes our immigration paperwork at the beginning of next week and all we have left to do is wait for the return of the immigration form we need. If all goes well we hope to have our Dossier completed by mid January. With this said a referral of a child is fast approaching and therefore we are wondering if you are interested in giving to something that lasts this holiday season. A life is eternal; a sweater or newest gadget is only here and now. We can't tell you how thankful we are for any donation or purchase you make towards our next little one!
Fundraiser #1 Coffee! www.justlovecoffee.com/jonandjolene
We automatically receive $5 for any bag you buy so order up some for your holiday get together and know your coffee is making a difference!
We still have $20,000 including travel left to raise. We have already applied to one grant and plan on applying to three more. However, they all required our home study so we have had to wait to apply them. Some may think this is a ridiculous amount but I would be so bold as to say many have spent this on a car or boat or some other material thing. So why when it comes to a life are we unwilling to give all we have. We will "pay" all we have for our children for their lives are priceless and eternal and there is never an amount that would be too much for them.
Fundraiser #1 Coffee! www.justlovecoffee.com/jonandjolene
We automatically receive $5 for any bag you buy so order up some for your holiday get together and know your coffee is making a difference!
Fundraiser #2 Silpada Jewelery! www.mysilpada.com/candice.gatchek
Jolene's Aunt has generously opened the sales of her Silpada Jewelery for a special onetime adoption fundraiser! She has agreed to donate %30 of the sales to our adoption. This jewelry is beautiful and there is a purpose behind it. When you wear or give your new piece of Jewelery remember you helped bring an orphan into a forever family. Check out her website above where you can browse the jewelry and contact her to purchase some. Click on the catalog below to go to her website!
We still have $20,000 including travel left to raise. We have already applied to one grant and plan on applying to three more. However, they all required our home study so we have had to wait to apply them. Some may think this is a ridiculous amount but I would be so bold as to say many have spent this on a car or boat or some other material thing. So why when it comes to a life are we unwilling to give all we have. We will "pay" all we have for our children for their lives are priceless and eternal and there is never an amount that would be too much for them.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Thanksgiving!
Here are some photo's from Thanksgiving. We spent Thanksgiving at Jon's parents home and were able to also have my parents there as well as Jon's two Great Aunts. Everyone was wonderful and we enjoyed getting to catch up with Jon's Aunts. Who are so sweet and really loved Talo. They day was a little overwhelming for Talo to say the least but we had a wonderful time and enjoyed being with all our family! Enjoy the pics.
Sitting down to eat! Karen made a yummy Thanksgiving Dinner!
Just the Three of Us!
Jon's side of the family!
My parents, we wish you were here Auntie Jamie!
This has nothing to do with Thanksgiving but its too cute not to put in! Tiger and Talo the two peas in a pod!
Sitting down to eat! Karen made a yummy Thanksgiving Dinner!
Just the Three of Us!
Jon's side of the family!
My parents, we wish you were here Auntie Jamie!
This has nothing to do with Thanksgiving but its too cute not to put in! Tiger and Talo the two peas in a pod!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Will I stand For Christ?
Will I stand for Christ? I just listened to this sermon from James MacDonald on Walk in the Word (www.walkintheword.com) and that is the question he kept asking. In the midst of the trial, the persecution, the suffering. . . "Will I stand For Christ?"
How amazing that I should listen to this after just reading an article on CNN about a Pakistani woman who was sentenced to death after insulting Islam and the prophet Muhammad. She is a Christian woman whose was arrested, thrown in jail for over a year, and now sentenced to death for denying Muhammad. She has appealed her death sentence but a decision by the court could be months.
According to CNN, "The town cleric, who made the initial complaint against Bibi, called her death sentence one of the happiest moments of his life. "Tears of joy poured from my eyes," Qari Salim told CNN." CNN ARTICLE HERE Outraged and heartbroken is how I feel after watching her daughters cry for their mother who committed no crime yet stood for Christ in denying Muhammad.
I am ahasmed to say I hesitated to write this post wondering what would happen to me or my family if an Islamic Extremist reads here what I have written. Would I be put to death? Would I be tortured? If someone threaten my life for speaking of Christ would I keep silent or would I risk my life for the one who gave me life?
"Jesus paid it all
All to Him I owe
Sin had left a crimson stain
He washed it white as Snow.
O, Praise the One
Who paid my debt
And raised this Life up
From the Dead."
Recently Jon and I applied to God's Grace Adoption Ministry for a grant for our adoption. Included in a number of questions we had to answer was, "Give you Christian Testimony." Below you will find our responses to that statement.
"And there is salvation in no one else; for their is no other name under heaven that has been given among men by which we must be saved." Acts 4:12
Give Your Christian Testimony (Jon)
I have been blessed to have grown up in a Christian home with parents who were very devoted to teaching us and leading us in the way of Jesus Christ. Around the age of 5 I was attending a Taylor University Concert with my family at our church where an alter call was given. I did not respond to it there but a few days afterwards I was in the car with my Dad and I told him that I wanted to accept Jesus as my savior. Since then I have always held tightly to my faith in Jesus.
I was also blessed to be able to attend a great Christian school were my faith and knowledge of God grew. Immediately after graduating my family moved to New Hampshire from Ohio and I went through a time where I was bitter and angry with my parents, my life and God. Looking back I see how God worked through those times, comforting me when I needed it, removing a destructive relationship before it went too far, drawing me back to faith and trust in Him and leading me to my beautiful wife.
God has continued to teach me more about Himself and how to become a true disciple of Christ throughout my marriage and our last adoption. I have learned to trust God in the most impossible situations and not to fear the circumstances I am in as long as I am following Him.
Give Your Christian Testimony (Jolene)
I received Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior in August 2002, when I was 18 years old. I had always grown up going to church and heard about God and Jesus many times but I had never heard of being in need of a savior. Or at least I never had ears to hear until August 2002. As a child I believed in God and used to read my Bible with my parents but when I became a teenager I still didn’t know Jesus as my Savior. However, the seed had been planted and when I entered into an impure dating relationship at 16 I knew God was tugging at my heart.
He began to open my eyes to the sins I was committing and my heart was restless as I went on dating in a way that didn’t honor God. Thankfully God is always at work and at the same time I was falling into sin God was drawing my Mom closer to Himself. She began to seek God daily and I witnessed her getting up early to pray and spend time in God’s word. She gave me a Bible on Christmas day 2001 and I knew something had changed in her. A Bible for a Christmas gift didn’t seem very exciting to a teenager who didn’t know Jesus yet but this would turn out to be the best gift I had ever and will ever receive.
That following summer I continued to feel restless knowing I was still sinning against God in my dating relationship and I began to read this Bible my Mom had given me. I brought it work every day and when the gift shop that I worked at was slow I would open it up and read and read. I couldn’t get enough of it and I loved it! God was opening my eyes to the truths in His word and I was feeling even sorrier for my Sin. “Would I ever be forgiven or made right with God?” was a question that never left my mind. Even though it was painful to have this constant guilt and questioning God in His sovereignty allowed it so I could see my need for a savior.
As I sought out to know God more I attended a four day Christian Music festival and for the first time I saw people worship the Lord like I had never seen them before. With their hands raised up to the sky and their eyes closed they sung unhindered to this God I would soon meet! I remember loving what I felt as the various Christian artist lead us in worship but I also remember feeling so guilty knowing that I had lead a sinful life with my boyfriend and I didn’t know how to obtain God’s forgiveness. That is, until one night Rebecca St. James came on and she spoke about sexual purity and forgiveness in Christ. She talked about how Jesus could cleanse us from our sins and make us pure again.
As she sang out, “This is the air I breathe, This is the air I breathe, Your Holy Presence living in me, and I’m Desperate for you Jesus, I’m desperate for you Jesus.” I lifted my hands and made that my prayer at the top of my lungs. I repented of my sins, and asked Jesus to be my savior. I acknowledge that there is no other name under heaven given to men by whom we must be saved (Acts 4:12), and that He is the way, the truth and the life; that no one comes to the Father but through Jesus (John 14:6). When I accepted Him as Savior that night I remember feeling an indescribable peace in my heart, no longer was I restless, no longer did I have guilt for my sin, and no longer did I feel unclean. He washed me as white as snow (Isaiah 1:18) and now I could go to God without my sin separating me from Him and because of Jesus’s death for my sins and my acceptance of Him as Savior I would now spend eternity in Heaven with Him.
"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."(John 3:16).
Two very different lives but the same colcusion, Jesus is the Way. The truth about God washing our sins as white as snow became so real for both Jon and I. We live in a day and age where people don't view view sexual impurity as Sin but God does and that is what matters. He also views lying, stealing, lusting, and taking the Lord's name in vain as sin to. http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+20%3A1-17&version=NIV So what does my sin deserve-DEATH. In the Old Testament God required a animal sacrifice to pay for Sin, a blood sacrifice. Yet because we are sinful beings we would have had to keep making animal sacrifices for eternity and we could never take care of our separating from God due to Sin.
That is why God in His love for us and a desire to be in relationship with us sent His only Son Jesus as the final payment for our sins. His perfect Blood was shed for you and me on that cross and his death payed for our sins once and for all. After three days God raised Jesus from the dead and He is seated at the right hand of God. Now when I confess that I am a sinner and receive Jesus as Lord and Savior for the payment of my Sins, I am made right with God and He enters into an eternal love relationship with me. I am saved from Hell not by my works but by my acceptance of Jesus as the only way to Heaven and to God.
I am not the perfect little Christian girl nor is Jon the perfect Christian guy but instead we are sinners just like you who chose to accept God's free gift of Salvation in His Son Jesus. Accepting Jesus is not about becoming Happy and having the perfect life but about being saved from Hell and a no longer living a life separated from God. The joyous life comes from living the way God wants us too in Him and therefore escaping further painful consequences of Sin.
I believe this Woman has chosen right in Denying Muhammad. What do you believe?
How amazing that I should listen to this after just reading an article on CNN about a Pakistani woman who was sentenced to death after insulting Islam and the prophet Muhammad. She is a Christian woman whose was arrested, thrown in jail for over a year, and now sentenced to death for denying Muhammad. She has appealed her death sentence but a decision by the court could be months.
According to CNN, "The town cleric, who made the initial complaint against Bibi, called her death sentence one of the happiest moments of his life. "Tears of joy poured from my eyes," Qari Salim told CNN." CNN ARTICLE HERE Outraged and heartbroken is how I feel after watching her daughters cry for their mother who committed no crime yet stood for Christ in denying Muhammad.
I am ahasmed to say I hesitated to write this post wondering what would happen to me or my family if an Islamic Extremist reads here what I have written. Would I be put to death? Would I be tortured? If someone threaten my life for speaking of Christ would I keep silent or would I risk my life for the one who gave me life?
"Jesus paid it all
All to Him I owe
Sin had left a crimson stain
He washed it white as Snow.
O, Praise the One
Who paid my debt
And raised this Life up
From the Dead."
Recently Jon and I applied to God's Grace Adoption Ministry for a grant for our adoption. Included in a number of questions we had to answer was, "Give you Christian Testimony." Below you will find our responses to that statement.
"And there is salvation in no one else; for their is no other name under heaven that has been given among men by which we must be saved." Acts 4:12
Give Your Christian Testimony (Jon)
I have been blessed to have grown up in a Christian home with parents who were very devoted to teaching us and leading us in the way of Jesus Christ. Around the age of 5 I was attending a Taylor University Concert with my family at our church where an alter call was given. I did not respond to it there but a few days afterwards I was in the car with my Dad and I told him that I wanted to accept Jesus as my savior. Since then I have always held tightly to my faith in Jesus.
I was also blessed to be able to attend a great Christian school were my faith and knowledge of God grew. Immediately after graduating my family moved to New Hampshire from Ohio and I went through a time where I was bitter and angry with my parents, my life and God. Looking back I see how God worked through those times, comforting me when I needed it, removing a destructive relationship before it went too far, drawing me back to faith and trust in Him and leading me to my beautiful wife.
God has continued to teach me more about Himself and how to become a true disciple of Christ throughout my marriage and our last adoption. I have learned to trust God in the most impossible situations and not to fear the circumstances I am in as long as I am following Him.
Give Your Christian Testimony (Jolene)
I received Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior in August 2002, when I was 18 years old. I had always grown up going to church and heard about God and Jesus many times but I had never heard of being in need of a savior. Or at least I never had ears to hear until August 2002. As a child I believed in God and used to read my Bible with my parents but when I became a teenager I still didn’t know Jesus as my Savior. However, the seed had been planted and when I entered into an impure dating relationship at 16 I knew God was tugging at my heart.
He began to open my eyes to the sins I was committing and my heart was restless as I went on dating in a way that didn’t honor God. Thankfully God is always at work and at the same time I was falling into sin God was drawing my Mom closer to Himself. She began to seek God daily and I witnessed her getting up early to pray and spend time in God’s word. She gave me a Bible on Christmas day 2001 and I knew something had changed in her. A Bible for a Christmas gift didn’t seem very exciting to a teenager who didn’t know Jesus yet but this would turn out to be the best gift I had ever and will ever receive.
That following summer I continued to feel restless knowing I was still sinning against God in my dating relationship and I began to read this Bible my Mom had given me. I brought it work every day and when the gift shop that I worked at was slow I would open it up and read and read. I couldn’t get enough of it and I loved it! God was opening my eyes to the truths in His word and I was feeling even sorrier for my Sin. “Would I ever be forgiven or made right with God?” was a question that never left my mind. Even though it was painful to have this constant guilt and questioning God in His sovereignty allowed it so I could see my need for a savior.
As I sought out to know God more I attended a four day Christian Music festival and for the first time I saw people worship the Lord like I had never seen them before. With their hands raised up to the sky and their eyes closed they sung unhindered to this God I would soon meet! I remember loving what I felt as the various Christian artist lead us in worship but I also remember feeling so guilty knowing that I had lead a sinful life with my boyfriend and I didn’t know how to obtain God’s forgiveness. That is, until one night Rebecca St. James came on and she spoke about sexual purity and forgiveness in Christ. She talked about how Jesus could cleanse us from our sins and make us pure again.
As she sang out, “This is the air I breathe, This is the air I breathe, Your Holy Presence living in me, and I’m Desperate for you Jesus, I’m desperate for you Jesus.” I lifted my hands and made that my prayer at the top of my lungs. I repented of my sins, and asked Jesus to be my savior. I acknowledge that there is no other name under heaven given to men by whom we must be saved (Acts 4:12), and that He is the way, the truth and the life; that no one comes to the Father but through Jesus (John 14:6). When I accepted Him as Savior that night I remember feeling an indescribable peace in my heart, no longer was I restless, no longer did I have guilt for my sin, and no longer did I feel unclean. He washed me as white as snow (Isaiah 1:18) and now I could go to God without my sin separating me from Him and because of Jesus’s death for my sins and my acceptance of Him as Savior I would now spend eternity in Heaven with Him.
"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."(John 3:16).
Two very different lives but the same colcusion, Jesus is the Way. The truth about God washing our sins as white as snow became so real for both Jon and I. We live in a day and age where people don't view view sexual impurity as Sin but God does and that is what matters. He also views lying, stealing, lusting, and taking the Lord's name in vain as sin to. http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+20%3A1-17&version=NIV So what does my sin deserve-DEATH. In the Old Testament God required a animal sacrifice to pay for Sin, a blood sacrifice. Yet because we are sinful beings we would have had to keep making animal sacrifices for eternity and we could never take care of our separating from God due to Sin.
That is why God in His love for us and a desire to be in relationship with us sent His only Son Jesus as the final payment for our sins. His perfect Blood was shed for you and me on that cross and his death payed for our sins once and for all. After three days God raised Jesus from the dead and He is seated at the right hand of God. Now when I confess that I am a sinner and receive Jesus as Lord and Savior for the payment of my Sins, I am made right with God and He enters into an eternal love relationship with me. I am saved from Hell not by my works but by my acceptance of Jesus as the only way to Heaven and to God.
I am not the perfect little Christian girl nor is Jon the perfect Christian guy but instead we are sinners just like you who chose to accept God's free gift of Salvation in His Son Jesus. Accepting Jesus is not about becoming Happy and having the perfect life but about being saved from Hell and a no longer living a life separated from God. The joyous life comes from living the way God wants us too in Him and therefore escaping further painful consequences of Sin.
I believe this Woman has chosen right in Denying Muhammad. What do you believe?
Monday, November 8, 2010
Cry of The Orphan
I wanted to post this link as this video is only available to watch online until November 14th. Then you would have to order it but the good news is that its free!Just check out www.cryoftheorphan.org for ordering info.
This is one of the best videos Jon and I have see about adoption and orphan care. It address how every Christian has been commanded to care for the orphan and if adoption is not for your family how else can you be involved? Maybe foster care, maybe through financial giving to Show Hope, or maybe sponsoring another family to adopt. Whatever you do just make sure you remember God's call to all of us as Christians. . .
"Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world." James 1:27
http://premiere.flannel.org/
(This is the link to the video only until November 14th!)
Also take a few minutes to listen to this song. It is written by Mark Schultz about how whether we live for a few minutes or several years everyone deserves to know what it means to be loved. He sings it on the "Cry of the Orphan" video. I think it just so clearly describes what we should be doing for the orphan and the unborn. Remember if you are encouraging mothers to not have abortions are you there to provide a home if they decide they would like to chose adoption for their child?
As they say in the Cry of Orphan video, "You Are God's Plan For the Orphan."
This is one of the best videos Jon and I have see about adoption and orphan care. It address how every Christian has been commanded to care for the orphan and if adoption is not for your family how else can you be involved? Maybe foster care, maybe through financial giving to Show Hope, or maybe sponsoring another family to adopt. Whatever you do just make sure you remember God's call to all of us as Christians. . .
"Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world." James 1:27
http://premiere.flannel.org/
(This is the link to the video only until November 14th!)
Also take a few minutes to listen to this song. It is written by Mark Schultz about how whether we live for a few minutes or several years everyone deserves to know what it means to be loved. He sings it on the "Cry of the Orphan" video. I think it just so clearly describes what we should be doing for the orphan and the unborn. Remember if you are encouraging mothers to not have abortions are you there to provide a home if they decide they would like to chose adoption for their child?
As they say in the Cry of Orphan video, "You Are God's Plan For the Orphan."
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Thankfulness!
This has been a great weekend for our family! We didn't celebrate Halloween because we feel it doesn't celebrate anything good and even if you do dress up as something good what does the Holiday really represent anyways?
Anyhow, we had some fun family time at the Science Center in our area and then some Leaf Raking which has made for a tired Talo. Even though his raking didn't last long the crawling in the leaves lasted for two hours!
Looking at the Star Fish!
Talo is about done raking, time to play!
Where did Talo go?
I just can't help but feel so thankful for my husband and son. During our raking today I looked down at Talo and with such joy I realized again He's our son! Not my adopted son, not my biological son, not my plan B son but My Son! Blood does not unite Jon and I in our marriage and yet our love grows stronger each day. He is the head of our family and a wonderful Husband who I am so thankful for. Neither does blood unite Talo to us but I couldn't love any child more. He's my Son and I'm his Mommy. What a gift to be a Mom!
A quick family shot as the camera balanced on the swing set on timmer mode!
In these last few days I have been hearing about Reaping what you sow. How the seed you sow does make a difference. Then today in my Bible I read, "And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace." James 3:18. God what are you trying to teach about Sowing and Reaping? As I read further I saw, "You are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel." James 3:2
Then God spoke! We had such a wonderful weekend because instead of being jealous of what others have, coveting over their wealth or ungrateful for the home we have.... I was thankful. I am thankful and once again content with our out of date wallpaper, pink kitchen and chiped paint. I am content with it all and. . . the seed of contentment produced fruit of peace and joy which. . . equalled a wonderful weekend!
(I have learned so much on thankfulness from a Bible study Jon and I are doing called, "Lord change my Attitude" By James MacDonald. He is my favorite teaching pastor here is his site if you want to check him out www.walkintheword.com )
"I, the Lord, amd the first, and with the last. I am He." Isaiah 41:4
Anyhow, we had some fun family time at the Science Center in our area and then some Leaf Raking which has made for a tired Talo. Even though his raking didn't last long the crawling in the leaves lasted for two hours!
Looking at the Star Fish!
Talo is about done raking, time to play!
Where did Talo go?
I just can't help but feel so thankful for my husband and son. During our raking today I looked down at Talo and with such joy I realized again He's our son! Not my adopted son, not my biological son, not my plan B son but My Son! Blood does not unite Jon and I in our marriage and yet our love grows stronger each day. He is the head of our family and a wonderful Husband who I am so thankful for. Neither does blood unite Talo to us but I couldn't love any child more. He's my Son and I'm his Mommy. What a gift to be a Mom!
A quick family shot as the camera balanced on the swing set on timmer mode!
In these last few days I have been hearing about Reaping what you sow. How the seed you sow does make a difference. Then today in my Bible I read, "And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace." James 3:18. God what are you trying to teach about Sowing and Reaping? As I read further I saw, "You are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel." James 3:2
Then God spoke! We had such a wonderful weekend because instead of being jealous of what others have, coveting over their wealth or ungrateful for the home we have.... I was thankful. I am thankful and once again content with our out of date wallpaper, pink kitchen and chiped paint. I am content with it all and. . . the seed of contentment produced fruit of peace and joy which. . . equalled a wonderful weekend!
(I have learned so much on thankfulness from a Bible study Jon and I are doing called, "Lord change my Attitude" By James MacDonald. He is my favorite teaching pastor here is his site if you want to check him out www.walkintheword.com )
"I, the Lord, amd the first, and with the last. I am He." Isaiah 41:4
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Adopting Again and Bloging Again
So it been way too long, way too long since I last blogged. How do I know this? Well for one the date of my last post is May 27th and today is October 22nd and the second reason I know this is that so much has happened in these last five months I am not sure what to even write about. Actually one night I even signed on trying to delete our blog because I wonder what's the real purpose of it anyways? What am I really trying to share with this web page and do people read it to support us or just to get some gossip to talk about us with? Well I am not sure of the second one but I came to a conclusion on the first one, the purpose of this blog.
Us on moving Day at our New Home!
Jon's Birthday!
After praying and thinking about it I felt like I wanted to start the blog again with a few purposes for it. One being to show God's faithfulness in our second adoption, two being to tell of how He is providing for our next adoption, third to talk about the joys and hard times of being a mom and finally to encourage us in our marriages and walks with God. (However, you never know sometimes I get passionate and I'm not sure what may come out so this is a warning for those times.)
Talo's First Hike
Summer fun!
But for today I wanted to just share with you how faithful God has been over these last five months. His Faithfulness is what I keep hearing, reading and thinking about these last few days. One thought I cling to is how God is always faithful. Not sometimes, not seventy five percent of the time, not when He feels like it but always. That is His nature, God is always faithful and that is one reason why I love Him so much! He never fails me and I have seen His faithfulness in Talo's live and in my own life. Bringing us into our first home on two very modest salaries, a bad economy and one the heals of a $25,000 adoption is something I would call God's Faithfulness!
Talo's Gotcha Day-One Year Anniversary!
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Our First Picture ever of Talo, How can you Say There is No God?
Talo and His Gotcha Day Gift, Tiger!
So Thank You God for your Faithfulness!
God's provision for our daily needs and next adoption is what else I brag on Him for. We see God stretch our money more than we ever thought possible and He is meeting our daily needs. I am learning to be thankful for this and to stop complaining over what I do not have. Instead I am learning to be content and thankful for what I do have. To not covet other peoples things or wealth but be content that I have my "daily bread".
This thankful attitude has made room for God to provide for our adoption! Just as we don't want to give our children good gifts when they are whining and complaining why would God want to bless us with the money for our next adoption when all I do is complain? So back to seeking his forgiveness and repenting before Him and He is making me thankful once again.
And Let's not forget Talo Helping Daddy with the House projects!
I love my Daddy and apple picking too!
Something I am amazingly thankful for is His provision for our next adoption. When we felt called to start the adoption process again I think we only had a hundred dollars or so, not even enough to pay our application fee. But we knew God would provide just when I began to doubt we were given $3,000 from extended family! This blew us away and confirmed our calling to adopt and this has been enough to pay the home study and first program fee! Amazing! Then after starting our Dossier paper chase we were given another thousand by family. Again we were just in awe of what God was doing as this is enough to finish our Dossier paperwork. Even today when I still start to doubt and think, "we don't have the money do this". I am reminded, "But God does"!
Thank You For Providing God!
Talo Loved Meting Great Grandpa and Grandma! He is their First Great Grandchild!
At the "Birdies" Talo's favorite palce when he came home last year!
Talo at the Birdies last year, He is getting so Big!
As I close this entry for tonight I want to tell you all I am still loving being a Mom and have started homeschooling with Talo (that will be another post). Many days are amazing and many are amazingly hard! But I love him none the less. Jon and I are well in our marriage and cherish any date we can get. I think we maybe had 5 in the last year but we are thankful for those five! We hope all of you are well and please leave me a comment just so I can know you are out there and I don't feel like I am bloging to the air! I will try to be a reagular blogger again!
Jolene for the soon to be four of us!
A father of the fatherless and a judge for the widows,
Is God in His holy habitation.
God makes a home for the lonely;
He leads out the prisoners into prosperity,
Only the rebellious dwell in a parched land. Psalm 68:5-6
Us on moving Day at our New Home!
Jon's Birthday!
After praying and thinking about it I felt like I wanted to start the blog again with a few purposes for it. One being to show God's faithfulness in our second adoption, two being to tell of how He is providing for our next adoption, third to talk about the joys and hard times of being a mom and finally to encourage us in our marriages and walks with God. (However, you never know sometimes I get passionate and I'm not sure what may come out so this is a warning for those times.)
Talo's First Hike
Summer fun!
But for today I wanted to just share with you how faithful God has been over these last five months. His Faithfulness is what I keep hearing, reading and thinking about these last few days. One thought I cling to is how God is always faithful. Not sometimes, not seventy five percent of the time, not when He feels like it but always. That is His nature, God is always faithful and that is one reason why I love Him so much! He never fails me and I have seen His faithfulness in Talo's live and in my own life. Bringing us into our first home on two very modest salaries, a bad economy and one the heals of a $25,000 adoption is something I would call God's Faithfulness!
Talo's Gotcha Day-One Year Anniversary!
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Our First Picture ever of Talo, How can you Say There is No God?
Talo and His Gotcha Day Gift, Tiger!
So Thank You God for your Faithfulness!
God's provision for our daily needs and next adoption is what else I brag on Him for. We see God stretch our money more than we ever thought possible and He is meeting our daily needs. I am learning to be thankful for this and to stop complaining over what I do not have. Instead I am learning to be content and thankful for what I do have. To not covet other peoples things or wealth but be content that I have my "daily bread".
This thankful attitude has made room for God to provide for our adoption! Just as we don't want to give our children good gifts when they are whining and complaining why would God want to bless us with the money for our next adoption when all I do is complain? So back to seeking his forgiveness and repenting before Him and He is making me thankful once again.
And Let's not forget Talo Helping Daddy with the House projects!
I love my Daddy and apple picking too!
Something I am amazingly thankful for is His provision for our next adoption. When we felt called to start the adoption process again I think we only had a hundred dollars or so, not even enough to pay our application fee. But we knew God would provide just when I began to doubt we were given $3,000 from extended family! This blew us away and confirmed our calling to adopt and this has been enough to pay the home study and first program fee! Amazing! Then after starting our Dossier paper chase we were given another thousand by family. Again we were just in awe of what God was doing as this is enough to finish our Dossier paperwork. Even today when I still start to doubt and think, "we don't have the money do this". I am reminded, "But God does"!
Thank You For Providing God!
Talo Loved Meting Great Grandpa and Grandma! He is their First Great Grandchild!
At the "Birdies" Talo's favorite palce when he came home last year!
Talo at the Birdies last year, He is getting so Big!
As I close this entry for tonight I want to tell you all I am still loving being a Mom and have started homeschooling with Talo (that will be another post). Many days are amazing and many are amazingly hard! But I love him none the less. Jon and I are well in our marriage and cherish any date we can get. I think we maybe had 5 in the last year but we are thankful for those five! We hope all of you are well and please leave me a comment just so I can know you are out there and I don't feel like I am bloging to the air! I will try to be a reagular blogger again!
Jolene for the soon to be four of us!
A father of the fatherless and a judge for the widows,
Is God in His holy habitation.
God makes a home for the lonely;
He leads out the prisoners into prosperity,
Only the rebellious dwell in a parched land. Psalm 68:5-6
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Many Changes
So life has been very busy around here since I last posted. We are on the move again but hopefully this one will be for a little while. Since we were married almost 4 years ago we have been renting and wishing that someday we could maybe own our own home. Well that "someday" has come and God has provided. We will be closing on our house next week if all goes as planned! This is such a huge blessing from the Lord and once again it just shows us evidence of God's faithfulness. (Currently our apartment is less than 600 square feet and I think you can imagine how hard that is with a little one. Plus this is the third apartment for us in 4 years!)
Sunny Day at Grammy and Grandpa's!
Talo can do no wrong in Grammy or Grandma's Eyes!
So for almost a year we have been praying for a more permanent apartment or home of our own to move to. Then just when we were on the breaking point the Lord provided this home, it has everything we could want in a home. Three bedrooms, a small little yard, and room for our Talo and future little ones.
"Ahh, now time for a little washing, truly I just want to play with the hose!"
We seem to be learning a lot about the Lord lately and his perfect timing. He is always faithful, always hearing our prayers, and always answering them in his timing. Jon and I have definitely been humbled where we are living now and we had lots of repenting to do over our selfishness and ungratefulness with what God had provided us thus far. However, isn't it true once you come before God, ask forgiveness, realize your sin and humble yourselves before him then you receive His blessing and best for your life.(James 4) He just can't show us his best when we are in opposition to him. Oh why did it take us a year to figure that out, how ungrateful and stubborn we can be sometimes! Thank You Lord for your grace!
"I don't want to miss a spot!"
Talo is changing in so many ways lately. He is very excited about have a sibling and talks about a brother and sister almost everyday. He insists he is getting a sister, maybe he knows something we don't. However, with all this to say you can tell he is very excited we are going to adopt again. So many times we notice in Talo many of his memories and thoughts from Ethiopia. Though he lacks the words and maturity of thought to describe them. Maybe someday he will be able to articulate what his life was like before our family. All I know is there are times I cry over his experiences and someday I know he will too. But thankful we have the Lord to turn to in our tears and suffering, I couldn't imagine life without Jesus! Thank You God for your faithfulness!
"Ok Time to find out what Mommys doing!"
As Talo and I woke up the other morning he came into bed with me and we were just cuddling. Then he looked at our hands and said, "Mommy no has purple hands", I said "What Talo" and again he said, "Mommy no has purple hands". Oh my heart felt sad as I realized he is losing his innocence and we will start to face the more difficult questions in adoption in the days and years ahead. But with confidence i told him no Mommy has tan skin and you have brown skin. We talked about how God made us all different colors and that's what makes us special. Daddy is white, Mommy is tan(it's summertime!), and Talo is brown. He totally accepted this and we sang the song, "Love is black, white, tan. God's love is black white Tan." I think this will remain one of his favorite songs for a long time as he asks me to sing it often.
Time for the Park with Daddy!
This is something we face in adoption, the issue of race and I started to feel inadequate as his mother due to my skin color. Many fears and attacks from the enemy ran through my mind. But God is so faithful and as we sat down in church that morning two other adoptive families were right in front of us. Their children are beautifully black and they are beautifully white. Just the way God made them. And as we sang, "Our God Reigns", the Lord spoke to me about how he is over everything even race and He does Reign! He has formed our family and that is the confidence that I have to be Talo's Mommy with, the confidence that God has created our skin color and our family. Amen! Thank You Lord that you Reign!
"Catch me Daddy!"
God has created our family so beautifully and I couldn't be more thankful for my Talo. As I went to work last night I reminisced on the day we were united as a family. My patient delivered her baby soon after my shift began and it was a beautiful delivery filled with emotions and tears from both parents. They were truly overwhelmed to have met their baby for the first time. As I watched them in their first moments with their son my mind began to trail back to Ethiopia in our first moments with Talo. Even now I tear up as I write this for that day changed our lives forever and in those first moments with Talo we became a family and I wouldn't trade my Talo for any other child.
"My new favorite corn on the cob!"
The days can be long, I can be tense, Talo can by grumpy, we are usually tired but one thing never changes we love that little pitter patter all over our house and we are excited for more pitter patter feet from Ethiopia! Please help us adopt again by checking out our website www.justlovecoffee.com/jonandjolene ! The coffee is soooo good and the apparel is nice too!!
"If I had my wish I would just play with trucks and cars all day! For some reason mommy likes to engage me in other activities maybe it is tiring for her when I drive the cars over her feet while she cooks dinner. Who knows but their still my favorites no matter what other toy she gives me!"
Sunny Day at Grammy and Grandpa's!
Talo can do no wrong in Grammy or Grandma's Eyes!
So for almost a year we have been praying for a more permanent apartment or home of our own to move to. Then just when we were on the breaking point the Lord provided this home, it has everything we could want in a home. Three bedrooms, a small little yard, and room for our Talo and future little ones.
"Ahh, now time for a little washing, truly I just want to play with the hose!"
We seem to be learning a lot about the Lord lately and his perfect timing. He is always faithful, always hearing our prayers, and always answering them in his timing. Jon and I have definitely been humbled where we are living now and we had lots of repenting to do over our selfishness and ungratefulness with what God had provided us thus far. However, isn't it true once you come before God, ask forgiveness, realize your sin and humble yourselves before him then you receive His blessing and best for your life.(James 4) He just can't show us his best when we are in opposition to him. Oh why did it take us a year to figure that out, how ungrateful and stubborn we can be sometimes! Thank You Lord for your grace!
"I don't want to miss a spot!"
Talo is changing in so many ways lately. He is very excited about have a sibling and talks about a brother and sister almost everyday. He insists he is getting a sister, maybe he knows something we don't. However, with all this to say you can tell he is very excited we are going to adopt again. So many times we notice in Talo many of his memories and thoughts from Ethiopia. Though he lacks the words and maturity of thought to describe them. Maybe someday he will be able to articulate what his life was like before our family. All I know is there are times I cry over his experiences and someday I know he will too. But thankful we have the Lord to turn to in our tears and suffering, I couldn't imagine life without Jesus! Thank You God for your faithfulness!
"Ok Time to find out what Mommys doing!"
As Talo and I woke up the other morning he came into bed with me and we were just cuddling. Then he looked at our hands and said, "Mommy no has purple hands", I said "What Talo" and again he said, "Mommy no has purple hands". Oh my heart felt sad as I realized he is losing his innocence and we will start to face the more difficult questions in adoption in the days and years ahead. But with confidence i told him no Mommy has tan skin and you have brown skin. We talked about how God made us all different colors and that's what makes us special. Daddy is white, Mommy is tan(it's summertime!), and Talo is brown. He totally accepted this and we sang the song, "Love is black, white, tan. God's love is black white Tan." I think this will remain one of his favorite songs for a long time as he asks me to sing it often.
Time for the Park with Daddy!
This is something we face in adoption, the issue of race and I started to feel inadequate as his mother due to my skin color. Many fears and attacks from the enemy ran through my mind. But God is so faithful and as we sat down in church that morning two other adoptive families were right in front of us. Their children are beautifully black and they are beautifully white. Just the way God made them. And as we sang, "Our God Reigns", the Lord spoke to me about how he is over everything even race and He does Reign! He has formed our family and that is the confidence that I have to be Talo's Mommy with, the confidence that God has created our skin color and our family. Amen! Thank You Lord that you Reign!
"Catch me Daddy!"
God has created our family so beautifully and I couldn't be more thankful for my Talo. As I went to work last night I reminisced on the day we were united as a family. My patient delivered her baby soon after my shift began and it was a beautiful delivery filled with emotions and tears from both parents. They were truly overwhelmed to have met their baby for the first time. As I watched them in their first moments with their son my mind began to trail back to Ethiopia in our first moments with Talo. Even now I tear up as I write this for that day changed our lives forever and in those first moments with Talo we became a family and I wouldn't trade my Talo for any other child.
"My new favorite corn on the cob!"
The days can be long, I can be tense, Talo can by grumpy, we are usually tired but one thing never changes we love that little pitter patter all over our house and we are excited for more pitter patter feet from Ethiopia! Please help us adopt again by checking out our website www.justlovecoffee.com/jonandjolene ! The coffee is soooo good and the apparel is nice too!!
"If I had my wish I would just play with trucks and cars all day! For some reason mommy likes to engage me in other activities maybe it is tiring for her when I drive the cars over her feet while she cooks dinner. Who knows but their still my favorites no matter what other toy she gives me!"
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Help us Adopt Again. . . By Drinking Coffee! ! !
You heard it from us first, that's right, your computer isn't broken! We are going to adopt again and we hope to start the process soon! To us this call from God to build a family is such an amazing blessing and challenge. However, we couldn't be more excited to bring another precious child from Ethiopia into our family!
As I am sure all of you know adoption is expensive, so this time we started a fundraiser early! We wanted to chose a fundraiser that you could benefit from as well so read on to see how you could help bring our next child home!
The company is called Just Love Coffee Roasters and here is their story taken straight from their website.
"Rob Webb knows coffee. When Rob was two years old, his father started Webb's Coffee Service, which blossomed into a full-blown refreshment service supplying businesses in Nashville, TN and the surrounding areas, and is now run by Rob.
Rob Webb knows the adoption process. In the summer of 2008, Rob and his wife Emily were called to adopt from Ethiopia. After much prayer and discussion with their first two children they started their adoption journey in August 2008. During the flurry of paperwork and preparation, Rob & Emily read books not only on adoption in general, but specifically on Ethiopia. Learning that Ethiopia is the birthplace of coffee caught Rob's attention, and after reading about the living conditions and wages of the average coffee farmer, he was compelled to take action. What developed through his reading and his trip to Ethiopia to unite with his daughters was a realization that he could combine his expertise and longstanding desire to roast his own coffees with his desire to help others. Just Love Coffee Roasters was born! Roasting Fair Trade Specialty coffees, Just Love uses proceeds to help an Ethiopian orphanage and families adopting not just from Ethiopia, but from anywhere in the world."
Thanks to this families amazing generosity we were able to set up our own store that you can order from and have the coffee shipped right to your door. From each bag of coffee you buy we receive $5, each month we will be mailed a check from the coffee sales and we will be putting it into an adoption account. Some of the first fees we owe are very large. The home study for example has to take place before anything else really can happen, the fee for this is $2,000. You see we don't pay Ethiopia thousands of dollars all the fees just add up to thousands of dollars. Every little bit helps and if you enjoy coffee know that every bag you buy goes to help bring our child home, benefits the farmers in Ethiopia who grow the coffee, and goes to help build a school for older children in Addis Ababa.
We appreciate your support more than you know. Check out our store at. . .
www.justlovecoffee.com/jonandjolene
you can click on any of the coffees you see or explore the store and select others. A portion of sales from all items in the store goes to us, so order a T-Shirt, you don't have to drink coffee to help bring Heidebrink #4 home!
"...with respect to the promise of God, he did not waver in unbelief but grew strong in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully assured that what God had promised, He was able also to perform." Romans 4:20-21
(we don't know if God will chose to use this fundraiser or not but one thing we can be confident of. . . He will Provide in His Perfect Way!)
Monday, March 29, 2010
Every Day I will. . .
Sometimes different seasons in life can create how I respond to the Lord. How I respond to my family, and now how I respond to Talo. Recently I have been doing a lot of repenting (being truly sorry over our sin and totally turning around from it) before the LORD over how I have let circumstances disrupt my joy and praise in him. My daily time with the Lord wasn't lacking however I was making Him a God of my life and my circumstances versus being a daughter of the Lord Most High. My prayer times were all about my difficulties and I was forgetting how praise worthy and soverign our God really is. How when I come into his presence as my friend Lauren reminded me in her blog, I need to just come. Not to get what I want, not to get an answer but just come because He is so worthy of our praise.
Here I am with my Great Aunt Candice and my Auntie Jamie!
Our blessing from above! He never looks at the Camera when it really counts!
In this past season with the Lord I feel like I have gone from "Moutain top days to deep valleys of self pity". I won't go into all the details of what causes both times however I was reading one of my favorite Christian Artists blog the other day and she shared a verse that I read almost everyday. However, this time the Lord spoke right to me about it and I fee like my attitude has been so changed before the LORD since reading it. His word has caused me to seek his forgiveness and come before him with true praise no matter how I "feel" that day. God is so worthy of our praise now matter what kind of a season we are going through and my prayer is that I would bless the Lord everyday and always with my life. I want to experience and show his joy no matter what my external circumstances in life may be.
Will i still cry, yes... will i still be angry at times, yes. . . will i still feel sad. . .yes, but will i praise him in all these emotions I want my answer to be yes.
Here comes our little rock star!
As we have just celebrated Easter may you and I realize afresh what Jesus did for us by dying on that cross to take away our sins and rising again so we may have eternal life and a right relationship with God. The verse below is the one I mentioned above that God just spoke to me through. He is so worthy and may we come before him each day just because He is worthy and we are privilaged to be in His presence.
"Every day I will bless You, And I will praise Your name forever and ever.
Great is teh LORD, and highly to be praised." Psalm 145:2
My dear cousin Evan and his sweet girlfriend Courtney gave talo a little Easter Basket. Here he is trying out the Bubles for the first time as Evan and Courtney look on.
Now Talo is explaining to Evan where the bubles should go!
And after the busy weekend was done our little man gets such joy out of just playing in the sink. I had to take this picture becaus notice what he did with all the boats and cups. He covered every object he could and then turned the water on, you can only imagine where it all went! AHHHHH Motherhood!!!!!!!!!!!
Here I am with my Great Aunt Candice and my Auntie Jamie!
Our blessing from above! He never looks at the Camera when it really counts!
In this past season with the Lord I feel like I have gone from "Moutain top days to deep valleys of self pity". I won't go into all the details of what causes both times however I was reading one of my favorite Christian Artists blog the other day and she shared a verse that I read almost everyday. However, this time the Lord spoke right to me about it and I fee like my attitude has been so changed before the LORD since reading it. His word has caused me to seek his forgiveness and come before him with true praise no matter how I "feel" that day. God is so worthy of our praise now matter what kind of a season we are going through and my prayer is that I would bless the Lord everyday and always with my life. I want to experience and show his joy no matter what my external circumstances in life may be.
Will i still cry, yes... will i still be angry at times, yes. . . will i still feel sad. . .yes, but will i praise him in all these emotions I want my answer to be yes.
Here comes our little rock star!
As we have just celebrated Easter may you and I realize afresh what Jesus did for us by dying on that cross to take away our sins and rising again so we may have eternal life and a right relationship with God. The verse below is the one I mentioned above that God just spoke to me through. He is so worthy and may we come before him each day just because He is worthy and we are privilaged to be in His presence.
"Every day I will bless You, And I will praise Your name forever and ever.
Great is teh LORD, and highly to be praised." Psalm 145:2
My dear cousin Evan and his sweet girlfriend Courtney gave talo a little Easter Basket. Here he is trying out the Bubles for the first time as Evan and Courtney look on.
Now Talo is explaining to Evan where the bubles should go!
And after the busy weekend was done our little man gets such joy out of just playing in the sink. I had to take this picture becaus notice what he did with all the boats and cups. He covered every object he could and then turned the water on, you can only imagine where it all went! AHHHHH Motherhood!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Controversial Issues and Answers
"Are you Confused about today's most controversial issues?"
That is a quote from Chip Ingram's website www.lote.org. He is an amazing pastor and his messages are powerful. I love listening online to his messages and always walk away having learned so much.
I felt so convicted to put the website up for you all to check out as his series lately deals wiht all the issues our society seems to be so confused about. I am ashamed at our culture and where we are going as a nation. But God's word never changes and all the answers we need are found in it. I encourage all of us to renew our minds in the truth of God's Word (the Bible) and listen to some great Bible teachers like Chip Ingram. The envelope keeps getting pushed wider for what's accetable in our culture but in our family it is tightly sealed. May it be sealed in the truth of what God says in your home too and not in what the world says.
www.lote.org check out the daily broadcasts, they are free to listen to and just under a half hour. We all have time it is just chosing what to do with out time. The Bible is living and active always applicaable to our lives every day.
"For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are open and laid bare to the eyes of Him with whom we have to do." Hebrews 4:12-13
That is a quote from Chip Ingram's website www.lote.org. He is an amazing pastor and his messages are powerful. I love listening online to his messages and always walk away having learned so much.
I felt so convicted to put the website up for you all to check out as his series lately deals wiht all the issues our society seems to be so confused about. I am ashamed at our culture and where we are going as a nation. But God's word never changes and all the answers we need are found in it. I encourage all of us to renew our minds in the truth of God's Word (the Bible) and listen to some great Bible teachers like Chip Ingram. The envelope keeps getting pushed wider for what's accetable in our culture but in our family it is tightly sealed. May it be sealed in the truth of what God says in your home too and not in what the world says.
www.lote.org check out the daily broadcasts, they are free to listen to and just under a half hour. We all have time it is just chosing what to do with out time. The Bible is living and active always applicaable to our lives every day.
"For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are open and laid bare to the eyes of Him with whom we have to do." Hebrews 4:12-13
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Happy Birthday~!
We celebrated our little guy's birthday just a few weeks back and just wanted to share a few pics with you guys. We had a great time with just the grandparents and Uncle Ben. Talo loves having his extended family around and just before his birthday we celebrated Grandpa H's birthday. Next we will celebrate Uncle Ben's birthday so he is getting a hefty dose of birthday cake and singing. I don't think he minds though!
Here are some pics to enjoy.
Talo happy as Grandpa "H" blew out his candles!
Talo in his crazy p.j.'s hugging Grandpa and Grandma goodbye! He certainly loves them and so do we!
About to blow out his candle!
Talo wishing cars came out of every present.
Oh no cars, but why does the wrapping paper have cars, Talo just couldn't figure this one out. But he likes play dough too!
"For you formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb.
I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Psalm 139:13-14
Here are some pics to enjoy.
Talo happy as Grandpa "H" blew out his candles!
Talo in his crazy p.j.'s hugging Grandpa and Grandma goodbye! He certainly loves them and so do we!
About to blow out his candle!
Talo wishing cars came out of every present.
Oh no cars, but why does the wrapping paper have cars, Talo just couldn't figure this one out. But he likes play dough too!
"For you formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb.
I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Psalm 139:13-14
Sunday, March 14, 2010
God's Strength
So I was going to do a new post about Talo's Birthday but we are all so sick right now. Talo has double ear infections and Jon and I both have the flu. It is not easy I will say that but I constantly think "I don't know what I would do without the LORD!" He is always there and his mercies are new every moment to give us strength. How do people take care of their sick kids when they are sick whiteout the Lord's strength?
My prayer, O Lord please heal Talo and give me strength. I find He gives Grace over and over to make it through these hard days.
This song was on my dear friend's blog and I just love it one of the lines says. . .
"When my strength is gone I find you mighty and strong."
This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.
The LORD'S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,
For His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
"The LORD is my portion," says my soul,
"Therefore I have hope in Him."
The LORD is good to those who wait for Him,
To the person who seeks Him.
Lamentations 3:21-25
My prayer, O Lord please heal Talo and give me strength. I find He gives Grace over and over to make it through these hard days.
This song was on my dear friend's blog and I just love it one of the lines says. . .
"When my strength is gone I find you mighty and strong."
This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.
The LORD'S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,
For His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
"The LORD is my portion," says my soul,
"Therefore I have hope in Him."
The LORD is good to those who wait for Him,
To the person who seeks Him.
Lamentations 3:21-25
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
The Truth can Be Hard to Hear
Past trauma's seem to reoccur at any time. A little over a week ago Talo was sick with a cold and bad ear infection. His ear drum was close to rupturing for the second time in his little life. We couldn't imagine how badly this hurt him but we can saw the pain in his every action. You see Talo never tells us when he is in pain and he quietly suffers alone.
The other week was trying to us as parents. We felt like we were just giving and he was not receiving our love. His behaviors were so off and we could tell some of it was because he didn't feel good but the other's go way deeper. Over that week we saw Talo exhibit the same "fear based" behaviors that we saw upon his return home with us and upon us moving apartments two months ago.
After just a long exhausting day I felt like I had no patience or love left. Being just the selfish person that I am whiteout Jesus Christ I went into our room to pray and just asked the Lord, "What is going on with Talo, something is wrong." Then the Lord just brought to mind what happened in Talo's life one year ago this month. You see we are about to come up on the date he was brought into the orphanage the date that he was close to death. The first pictures we showed you of Talo were after he had gained 10lbs. Talo was so sick upon being brought into the orphanage that he was near death. Not only had he just lost the only people he had ever known he was also loosing the battle for his life. On top of the illness that was causing him to be so close to death he had ruptured ear drums in both ears, intestinal parasites, and scabies so severe that it has left scars on his body.
We never saw pictures of our son in this condition and to be honest I don't want to. I can't imagine having a visual image to go with the pain I already feel when I look at the scars and see his recent behavior as he has been sick. You see when Talo was near death he was also without a mommy or daddy to take care of him. He has never know what it is to tell someone he is in pain and have them fix it, or tell someone he doesn't feel good and have them hold him, he never knew what it meant to be cleaned up after having diarrhea or be given anti-itch cream as bugs ate away at his little body. He has never know that there are people who can love him in his pain and sickness. He fears to tell us he is hurting and instead he runs from us. His current ear infection is bringing not only physical pain but intense emotional pain.
After my time of praying that night God lead me to go back in Talo's room and I was committed to be with him until he feel asleep. After almost 45minutes of singing, praying, holding, rocking and laying next to him. He finally relaxed and fell asleep with his arm wrapped tightly around my head as I laid next to him. I said, "I love you so much Talo", and he looked up at me and said, "I love bu so much mommy, I love bu so much mommy, I love bu so much mommy."
I don't think you can understand the trauma of an orphaned child until you experience it everyday. As his parents we know his behaviors and when you see him in fear it is heart breaking. It is not how God created things to be. However, because we live in this fallen world there is suffering and pain and never will I know why our son had to suffer but what I do know is that God saved him from dying and brought him into our family. And if it takes all our lives to help him know he is loved and not alone in his suffering than it takes all our lives. For God has given Talo to us for such a time as this because no child should ever be without a mother or father. . . yet 147 million are.
Giving money to the orphan is good, sponsoring a child through World Vision or compassion is good too, yet no amount of money gives an orphan a mommy to rock them when they are sick or a dad to read them stories at night when they are going to sleep. No amount of money can end their suffering of living alone in sickness and living alone in hunger and living alone when they are so close to dying. Some people cannot adopt due to age or health reasons or other unavoidable circumstances.
Although the reality is that many people can adopt and chose not to.
Why?
Why?
What's your excuse?
Do you think it's ok for them to suffer and eventually die alone. Picture your biological children wearing rags, living at the end of your driveway or road, eating dirt mixed with dirty water for dinner, and then when the sun has gone down they lay their head on the dirt or dirty trash lined street and go to sleep alone. Is that ok for your children?
Why then do you say it's ok for the 147 million for whom this is life. Life alone. . . or maybe they can hope one day to lay their head down on a soft pillow in your home as part of your family. Alone no longer.
The other week was trying to us as parents. We felt like we were just giving and he was not receiving our love. His behaviors were so off and we could tell some of it was because he didn't feel good but the other's go way deeper. Over that week we saw Talo exhibit the same "fear based" behaviors that we saw upon his return home with us and upon us moving apartments two months ago.
After just a long exhausting day I felt like I had no patience or love left. Being just the selfish person that I am whiteout Jesus Christ I went into our room to pray and just asked the Lord, "What is going on with Talo, something is wrong." Then the Lord just brought to mind what happened in Talo's life one year ago this month. You see we are about to come up on the date he was brought into the orphanage the date that he was close to death. The first pictures we showed you of Talo were after he had gained 10lbs. Talo was so sick upon being brought into the orphanage that he was near death. Not only had he just lost the only people he had ever known he was also loosing the battle for his life. On top of the illness that was causing him to be so close to death he had ruptured ear drums in both ears, intestinal parasites, and scabies so severe that it has left scars on his body.
We never saw pictures of our son in this condition and to be honest I don't want to. I can't imagine having a visual image to go with the pain I already feel when I look at the scars and see his recent behavior as he has been sick. You see when Talo was near death he was also without a mommy or daddy to take care of him. He has never know what it is to tell someone he is in pain and have them fix it, or tell someone he doesn't feel good and have them hold him, he never knew what it meant to be cleaned up after having diarrhea or be given anti-itch cream as bugs ate away at his little body. He has never know that there are people who can love him in his pain and sickness. He fears to tell us he is hurting and instead he runs from us. His current ear infection is bringing not only physical pain but intense emotional pain.
After my time of praying that night God lead me to go back in Talo's room and I was committed to be with him until he feel asleep. After almost 45minutes of singing, praying, holding, rocking and laying next to him. He finally relaxed and fell asleep with his arm wrapped tightly around my head as I laid next to him. I said, "I love you so much Talo", and he looked up at me and said, "I love bu so much mommy, I love bu so much mommy, I love bu so much mommy."
I don't think you can understand the trauma of an orphaned child until you experience it everyday. As his parents we know his behaviors and when you see him in fear it is heart breaking. It is not how God created things to be. However, because we live in this fallen world there is suffering and pain and never will I know why our son had to suffer but what I do know is that God saved him from dying and brought him into our family. And if it takes all our lives to help him know he is loved and not alone in his suffering than it takes all our lives. For God has given Talo to us for such a time as this because no child should ever be without a mother or father. . . yet 147 million are.
Giving money to the orphan is good, sponsoring a child through World Vision or compassion is good too, yet no amount of money gives an orphan a mommy to rock them when they are sick or a dad to read them stories at night when they are going to sleep. No amount of money can end their suffering of living alone in sickness and living alone in hunger and living alone when they are so close to dying. Some people cannot adopt due to age or health reasons or other unavoidable circumstances.
Although the reality is that many people can adopt and chose not to.
Why?
Why?
What's your excuse?
Do you think it's ok for them to suffer and eventually die alone. Picture your biological children wearing rags, living at the end of your driveway or road, eating dirt mixed with dirty water for dinner, and then when the sun has gone down they lay their head on the dirt or dirty trash lined street and go to sleep alone. Is that ok for your children?
Why then do you say it's ok for the 147 million for whom this is life. Life alone. . . or maybe they can hope one day to lay their head down on a soft pillow in your home as part of your family. Alone no longer.
Monday, February 8, 2010
God's Grace in our Infertility
Our Talo fast asleep in the craziest spots!
He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap,
To make them sit with princes, with the princes of His people.
He makes the barren woman abide in the house As a joyful mother of children.
Praise the LORD! –Psalm 113:7-9
The other day after listening to one of my favorite Bible teachers (www.walkintheword.com) I felt convicted to write this post. Often times I feel people reading our blog or hearing about our adoption assume Talo is a product of our infertility. But let me say it loud and clear that is not the case. I can’t tell you how many times people tell us, “Oh now you’ll get pregnant I know so many people who adopt and then get pregnant.” Now we know your comments aren’t intended to be hurtful but they are. Think about what you’re saying, you assume we choose adoption because we were unable to conceive however let me share with you the true story. Talo is not a product of our infertility but of God’s perfect and chosen design for our family.
Even in the freezing cold he pushes that stroller!
October 2006, only 4 months after we had been married a coworker of mine made a statement to me. She said “I believe every Christian should adopt”. I quickly responded, “Oh Becky, I don’t think I could ever love an adopted child as my “own”.(note we came home wiht Talo 3 years later October 2009) She said something to the effect of how I could more than I ever imagined and began to talk more of the adoption of her beautiful little daughter. I kind of stowed that conversation away and thought how I could never adopt like she had. Then it began to happen, God’s Holy Spirit began to move in my heart and life in a mighty way.
Only a few weeks later I learned that the severe pain I was enduring each month could be more of a serious health problem than I thought and in some cases causes infertility. I was devastated. At the time Jon and I were not trying to have children however, I became overcome with grief, “is this what our future holds?” “Lord all I have ever wanted was to be a mom, I had dreamed of it since I was a little girl”. I used to pretend my stuffed raccoon was a baby, I would feed him, hold him and push him in my toy stroller, on Sundays you could find me helping in the nursery so I could hold the real babies, while as a teenager I spent much of my time babysitting. To top it all off I am a labor and delivery nurse. However, it was like God telling me in his gentle yet powerful way through his word and prayer not to concern myself with this fear of infertility right now and trust that whatever happens, God’s plan is always the best.
"Where's ah Talo"-direct quote from Talo when I took this picture!
Only a few short months after that conversation with my coworker I became consumed with this passion for the orphans and adoption. I told Jon how much I felt God calling us to adopt even before having children by birth and I cried for endless hours to him about the plight of the orphan. After almost a year I looked online and found this adoption agency “America World”, I read the stories, looked at the countries, and printed out an info packet. I can’t remember if Jon read that packet or not but I filed it away because I knew someday we would adopt. Over the next year we spent countless drives in our town laboring in conversation over adoption. I was usually just broken over the plight of the orphan and felt we should adopt before we had biological children. However Jon, being the cautious wise man that he is felt we couldn’t adopt if we hadn’t even been parents to a child yet.
Talo assesing which birdie he will run after first.
And the birdies, planning their escape from Talo!
After tons of prayer and more talking than you could imagine we decided to try to start a family by birth and Jon said “someday” he knew we would adopt. What he didn’t know was how soon that “someday” may be.
The pain and grief came heavy after only a few short months of not being able to conceive. People told us oh it’s only been a few months you’ll get pregnant but some how I knew God was going to work this together for His good and glory. I also started to realize that maybe I had heard the Lord correctly, He was leading us into adoption. However, Jon still wasn’t convinced and I knew when God united our hearts we would be ready to start the adoption process. Well, in October 2008, two years after God spoke in a still small voice through my co-worker Jon agreed with God, it was time to adopt.
Jon says he had been hearing God speak to him for awhile but wasn’t ready to take that step of faith and obedience. Then James 1:27(Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and keep oneself unstained by the world.”) spoke to him so strongly that the question became. . .
“How could it not be God’s will to adopt?”
After Christmas festivities were over in 2008, we started out to find an agency when wouldn’t you know in our file box was the printout I had saved over a year earlier from the agency America World Adoption. New Years day we filled out the application and began our “pregnancy” to Talo. Though what most everybody does not know is that only a month later I had surgery to remove large cysts due to my endometriosis. Medically I had to have the surgery because the pain that I talked earlier about was affecting my daily living and the cysts were at risk of rupturing. As we sat in the Surgeon’s office he tried to explain how unlikely it would be for us to ever become pregnant unless we chose fertility treatments (IVF ect) and how he was more than eager to have me enter into a roller coaster ride of those treatments so we could have a child by birth.
Notice the stick in Talo's hand and the birdie on the bottom right! Ahhh!
This Surgeon just couldn’t comprehend what we were telling him. Adoption? What? He said, “surely you have wanted to do this for a long time because we wouldn’t even diagnose you with infertility until its been 6 more months of inability to conceive.” He felt adoption was plan “B” or second best, he felt we hadn’t “tried” hard enough to have children of our “own” to go on and choose something as extreme as adoption.
Talo directing Grandpa,"Now Granpa push me in this direction and fast please!"
After Talo's push down the hill Grandpa runs to catch him. This all made Mommy very nervous!
Yet for us this was never plan B, It was always God’s plan “A” for our family and we had conceived a child in our hearts months before the doctor ever told us we may never conceive one in my womb.
You see God the author of life already had a child picked out for us and he was waiting on the other side of the world. Just like pregnancy we didn’t know if we would have a boy or girl, or what they would look like, or what medical needs they would have. But we did know that on January 1st, 2009 we found out we were “pregnant” and 9 months later September 21st, 2009 we would meet our son. A beautiful boy of Ethiopian heritage who God knew before the beginning of time would be our “first born”. Talo is plan “A” and has always been the best plan.
We believe that our infertility is not a disease like cancer that needs to be treated nor is it a punishment from God like some people may think. But let me say this, if you are experiencing infertility in no way do I want to offend you or make your grief minimized. Infertility is a terrible grief one that is like no other. It is very much a silent type of grief. No one knows exactly how it feels unless they are experiencing it and when people who have biological kids do find out the lack of sensitivity is astounding. So hear me, anyone who is experiencing this trial that seems to have no end until heaven, I know your pain.
Though that pain has never made Talo second best or plan B. We look forward with great anticipation and excitement to grow our family and our daily prayer is not, “O Lord please make us pregnant.” It is “O, Lord please provide for our next adoption as we move forward to do your will.” For the Lord has answered me several times about my physically barren womb and I rest in His perfect answer. May God speak to you about your individual grief’s as you read the answer He has given me about the “thorn in my flesh”.
“To keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me- to keep me from exalting myself! Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. And he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12: 7-10
And he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.”
-The Power of Christ